Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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