Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
