I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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