piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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