Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
