Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
