The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
