it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
