I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
