Sry I called you an 8
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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