If i come over, it means nothing
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
