someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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