New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
