shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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