what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
