at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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