I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize