he thought i was a dude.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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