Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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