She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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