the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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