Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
