'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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