while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
