i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
