Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
false alarm, still single
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