she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
