is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
