Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
