Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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