Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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