he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
