She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
two words: eviction party
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
