I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
