She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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