The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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