so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
