hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
