Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
