She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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