what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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