just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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