u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
someone owes me an orgasm
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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