We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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