Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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