god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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