just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
