I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
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