You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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