pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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