ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
