Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
