Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We are two peas in an std pod
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
