whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
