my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
