Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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