Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize
