Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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