I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
