I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
