just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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