We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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