Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
