You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
