he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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