Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
you never un-have a 4some
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
