Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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