Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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