; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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