Duck Duck Cougar?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
