apparently the secret to your success is patron
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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