So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize