There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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