My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
