i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
