i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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