he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
