Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize