I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
